If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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