Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
