Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
