she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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