you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
