week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
