why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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