I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize