I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
