stop calling my apartment porn island.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
