I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
