We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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