3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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