Fine. I'll sleep in my office
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
