I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
this will be a night to untag.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
