And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
