she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
