It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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