worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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