dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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