Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
there is puke in my bra ... again
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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