There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
