She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
please don't ironically join a cult
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