Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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