i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You ruined the universe
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
