Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
