If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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