i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
