he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
