i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
