I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
