great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
