Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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