But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i think i just lost a toe
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