It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
