**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Say something about gay babies.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
