i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
