There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
