Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize