you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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