so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
