chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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