I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
