that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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