these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My cat gives me a boner
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We're too hungover to prance.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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