I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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