He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
