oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
