How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
