all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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