If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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