Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
