So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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