He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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