god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
