I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
