i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
